Wednesday, January 31, 2007
sTuPiD WoRm...
Have you ever had that nagging feeling that something is wrong? That something is just not right. But the problem is you don’t know what it is. So it starts to nag at you. Starts to eat at you like a worm feasting on a juicy leaf. And still you have no clue what is wrong and how to even begin to fix it.Yeah, I had a few of those… Usually after awhile I finally figured out what was wrong. But there are times that I don’t and the feeling just goes away. Perhaps the problem just solved itself or the worm has already finished the leaf, who’s to really know.
So why am I writing this in my entry? I honestly don’t know. Maybe, just maybe I’m having that nagging feeling… or just maybe I watched too much TV this morning.
Oh well, I’m in no mood to write anyway. Maybe I am nagged… oh well…
Thursday, January 25, 2007
dReAmLaNd....
Dreams. Just the words makes you want to lay back, relax and close your eyes. Oh okay, I admit it, I am a little sleepy… he he he…Anyway, dreams to me can be categorize into two groups, one where you sleep and the other where you let your mind wander. I do both. Although the ones I have when I’m asleep usually are less controlled by me but if I dream of something good the feelings seems to be with me the whole day through. As for remembering these dreams… Well usually I remember part of it but sometimes I don’t remember anything at all. People say that dreams are simply your minds way of resting. Then there are those who say that dreams are an indication of something. A sign for “something”. But surely they can’t mean all the dreams are signs? I mean I understand a few being meaningful and have a “sign” quality towards it but most are utter nonsense. Trust me, I know my dreams.
So is there truth to these words? I honestly don’t know. But I do however strongly believe that sometimes when you want something so bad you will see it in your dream. And sometimes when you suppress your feelings it will vent out in your dream as well. So yeah, the mind factor does play strongly in my belief of dreams.
As for the other kind of dream… Well, sometimes I simply let my mind wander. Sometimes it doesn’t even relate to me. Sometimes I simply dream of other people and their lives. Sometimes I dream of a world full of magic or a world full of futuristic technologies… Okay, so I’m a big fan of TV. So no surprise there… he he he… Not to mention my love for reading story books and novels. As for a dream about myself… I rarely do those… Why? I don’t know why. I just don’t. A dream I have for myself is basic really. Maybe that’s why I don’t dream about it as much. My dream is simply to be happy. So I guess it would be dull and boring to dream of that… he he he…
Or maybe those other dreams of other people are just my way of expressing my wants and my dreams… I don’t know for sure but perhaps it’s true. Perhaps deep down I’m just afraid of dreaming the impossible with me as the main character that I hide myself behind all these characters… Okay, enough about that. I hate to dwell on deep thoughts and thinking… he he he… So let’s just leave it at that…
Wait a minute, is that a pillow I see? He he he…
sOfT piLLow...
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
liMiTs...
Limits. Everyone has one for something. When someone reaches their limits that’s when they say, “Enough”. But for some reason most people have problem saying enough when it comes to money, he he he… However, that’s not the point of this entry.I often wonder about that invisible line between okay and not okay. When it comes to judging something, I’m just plain bad. So yeah, it’s scary sometimes.
He he he… Lucky for me I have always found friends that are patient with me. I have to admit I have stepped off the boundary more than a few times. So people say if you know your weakness, overcome it. Well, I’m seriously trying but it’s hard… In the meantime, I always tell people to tell me directly if I step out of line. That way, they don’t get too offended and I know not to repeat my mistake. I find this sometimes helps a lot. Sometimes I am way off that it surprises me when they said that I was on dangerous ground. This helps me keep my dear friends on ok terms with me. I’d certainly hate to lose them just because I’m bad at judging something.
Oh well, I guess I have reach, my limits for this entry… he he he…
i'M cLuELesS...
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
I mAdE ThIs...
Accomplishments. Daddy often accuses me of accomplishing nothing in my life. That I have yet to make a mark in this life. Okay, so part of it is true. A big part. It’s just that I have yet to find this drive to do something. Sure I want to accomplish something that I could say “I made this” but the want have yet to attack me with a strong current that makes it impossible for me not to do something.I guess I have yet the motivation. But yeah, I have my wants. I have things I want to do. Some of the things I guess would always remain just wants and some I would like to try at least once in my life. As for the when, where and how, well those have yet to be decided. One of those in the future plan.
And then there’s the things I want to do but I just simply lose the motivation. Why? Well I guess it’s just the things around me that put it down. To accomplish something takes time and effort those are the luxuries I don’t really have right now. In fact I can’t find myself sitting down for more than an hour without being needed elsewhere.
Am I complaining? Heck, no. My life is not perfect but I won’t trade it. There are things in this life that I wouldn’t want to risk losing. The downs aren’t so bad anyway. At times the downs are the ups. Oh well, whatever…
Hey, I made this… he he he…
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
lEt's TaLk...
Conversation. What makes a conversation? What makes a conversation worth listening or participating in? Me? In my opinion, if it doesn’t make you sleep, it’s worth listening, if it doesn’t make you want to hit the other guy, then it’s worth participating in. That simple. Then again, I’m not a complicated person, at least I don’t think so, most of the time, I think… he he he… Anyway, back to my point. Which is what actually? I for once honestly don’t know. So why am I writing? Hmmm….So how do we make conversation? For me, it’s easy. Talk about the first thing that pops in my mind. Or at least if the first thing is not totally odd or totally inappropriate. From there, if you have a good partner to talk to, the flow would be natural and the subject endless. Or at least that’s what usually happens to me.
However, if you have a weirdo for a conversation partner, then it’s different. My mind goes blank and that’s when weird things start to play in my mind. But I guess if you look into it, it all boils down to fear for my own safety. That’s one conversation I don’t mind skipping any day. I’d rather be alone than dead… he he he…
Sometimes, what you converse about is not really important at all… What’s important is how it makes you feel. I guess it’s the kind where it doesn’t matter as long as you’re with that person. And sometimes, people don’t converse with words at all, just with their eyes, or body language or touching… okay, one line of thought where I should avoid going down to. Messy area there… Messy and not entirely clean… he he he…
Let’s stick to words shall we? He he he… Now words are really a fun thing. Or at least what you can do with them. Arrange them a certain way and you get a sentence. Now a sentence is another fun thing, usually when used with different intonation and expression, a sentence can have a few meanings. I for once used to love going down the double meaning conversation with my friends. It’s a fun thing, a nice past time…
Okay, maybe by now you’d have figured out that I’m a chatterbox. Have been ever since I could remember. Everybody would say that I’m very noisy. Of course it doesn’t help that I have this “unique” pitch to my voice. Yep, I’m loud alright. And no, not as unique as the “Nanny”, just a little on the loud side. Hey, made me a good soprano… he he he…
Take this little entry for instance, I have no idea what to write in the beginning but the words just comes out just like that. Whether or not it’s good or bad, now that is the question. One that I shall answer with a question of my own, “Who cares?”
Monday, January 15, 2007
tImE....
Time. What a funny thing. Time can move so fast and it can move ever so slowly as well. Time is so relative. When you’re in a tough exam, time seems to move so fast that you find that the time given is so short and it moves like a speeding train. But time moves ever so slowly when you’re waiting for something. A minute seems like an hour. The dreaded time.People say that time is precious, that time is money. If you think about it, I guess it’s true. Just look at those professions that charges by the hour, like doctors, lawyers and all kind of consultants. Now for those people time is money. Literally.
And what about the saying that “Time and tide waits for no man”. So does that mean you always have to rush through life? To always do things quickly? Sounds dangerous if you ask me. But I guess it could also be said that once time passes it will never come again. Now that I can accept. All time ask of us is not to waste it. To appreciate it and use it wisely, not to follow it none stop and rush through things.
I have seen a man rush through life without a pause, always doing something and wasting no time in the process. I have also seen a man who simply sits by the beach and watch the waves with no worry in the world. If you ask me, who between the two is happier? I for once can’t answer it if my life depended on it. I guess it all boils down to choices and preferences. People often make choices base on preferences, not always though and that makes me kind of sad because they end up miserable no matter if they are rushing time or enjoying it.
Even writing this entry, some would say that it’s a total waste of time, others might say it’s worth it because it gives a chance for you to express yourself. For me, I don’t care. It makes me happy and it’s all that matters. It’s MY choice…
LeT's uS aLL WaIt...
Saturday, January 13, 2007
tHiS shOeS ArE MaDe fOr WalKinG...
Walking in other people’s shoes is not easy. That’s what everyone says. But if you look at it literally, it’s true. I mean just imagine walking in a shoe that is twice smaller than your own size. OUCH! But of course the meaning wasn’t meant to be literally. So let’s look at it from a profession wise. Imagine asking a plumber to operate on a dying patient. Of course some shoes are just never meant to be tried on by another. FATAL! But yet again it’s not meant to be looked from that view either.What they do mean is “The grass is always greener on the other side”. I guess it’s true. Tell me the truth; I think there is a part in everyone who wishes that they are someone else. This often happens with people who have low self esteem. Fat people wish that they are thinner. Thin people often wish they could jut let themselves go and enjoy food like fat people. Poor people wish they were rich and rich people wish they can be more relaxed or less stressed or whatever… Bottom line, everyone’s not satisfied with what they have. Who to blame? Is there blame? If there is then I guess the culprit would definitely be Human Nature.
Me? I’m just human. While I don’t wish to be someone else I am far from satisfied with whom I am. But don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate my life a bit. I guess I just feel I could always change to be better… More talented in stuff or better at some skills.
In the end, I find myself asking, “Am I happy?” Right now, with everything that is happening around me and my life… I can honestly say, YES!
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
fOOd....
Yep. One of my favorite subject. Food. They say that people are often divided into two groups. The “Live to eat” or “Eat to live”. If you ask me, my family and I would definitely be in the “Live to eat” group. And in my opinion it is where the normal people should be. I mean, just look at the numbers of obese or fat people in the world. It’s increasing, yes sir, it is.Look at a party or function. Where is the crowd? At the buffet table. The action is all there. What is the main attraction in a birthday party? You might think it’s the birthday boy or girl but hey, I know better. The birthday cake. Yep. I mean even the birthday boy or girl would put much thought into their birthday cake. A party or function is never complete without food. Foods make you happy. Foods make you smile. Food, food and food… hmmm…. I’m getting hungry.
Oh well, I’ll finish off this post before grabbing a bite.
One group of people I pity the most is those skinny models. The life they have to live. They are the group of people who “Eat to live”. I read in an article the foods they consume everyday and I was so saddened by it. But then again, they probably feel pity towards us. At the end of the day they are the grouped that rake in the thousands of dollars. Then again, what do you do with all those money if you do not celebrate it with FOOD!
I could go on about this subject for ages. I better just stop. That said, “Waiter, the dessert menu, please!”
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
waNt a BoOk...
Stupid satay stick. So I was throwing out the garbage when one of the stick poke out from the bag and me being me, not seeing the thing, I poked myself with it. I guess it wouldn’t hurt so much if it wasn’t for the fact that the stick poked me under my fingernail. Yep, it hurts with a mocking throb. Okay, so the pain is not so much but the mocking does makes it worse. Plus, I don’t even like satay.Enough about that.
People like to say that their life is like an open book. What exactly do they mean by that? That their life is as exciting as a fantasy novel? Or a romantic love story? Or even a funny comic? Or perhaps as exciting or glamorous as a fashion magazine? I for once will never know. If you were to compare my life to any type of book at all I would have to say it wouldn’t be a bestseller. Perhaps it would be one of those books that collect dust at the corner of a library where it has yet to have its first checkout. Talk about putting myself down… he he he… so unlike me. Putting ME back in mode… he he he…
I for one wouldn’t want to be an open book. If you sit to think about it just for a second, I think you wouldn’t want to be one either. Being an open book means someone could just read your life story just like that. Reading all your life experiences. All those things that means the world to you. Being an open book makes you vulnerable. Makes you weak. But I guess if you trust someone enough with your life’s book, then maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. Bottom line, just makes sure you give it to someone who really deserve it, else, come on, it’s a life’s book, it’s probably kilos in weight, so throw it to their faces… he he he… broken nose, migraine, they had it coming… :-p
Monday, January 08, 2007
rAmbLinGs...
So how do you put a title to something? Sounds like a very easy thing but if you put a thought or two into it, it’s not that easy. For example, how do you put a title to a train of thoughts? Or a bunch of ramblings? People usually put a title to something base on the most points being repeated or mentioned. But what if there is no point? Like this entry. he he he… So how do I appropriately title this? Hmm… Ramblings. That’s what this is and so that’s what it should be titled. So that aside, I should let my trains of thoughts go down the track of a bunch of useless nothings… he he he…So here I am in front of my pc and looking at the screen and Evanescence is playing in the background. What is my mind thinking of right now? I think this Evanescence chic is a really troubled person… he he he… So why am I listening to her? Well maybe I’m not so right in the head as well…
Boy, starting blogging again isn’t as easy as I thought it would be. Sure you never forget to ride a bike but that doesn’t mean you can just grab a bike and start climbing up a mountain on it. Oh well, maybe I’ll go climb up on one next time.
Sunday, January 07, 2007
aLLo....
Wow. Been awhile since I did this. Oh well, writing to me have always been second nature to me. So this should be like riding a bike.So what do you believe in this life? Me? Well I believe in the firm belief that family should always come first.
I believe I have mentioned this before in one of my entry but I can’t remember it.
Apart from that I have a code or philosophy that I try to follow as best as I could. Somehow I see that it makes sense and a very good thing for a basic guideline. And here they are “Only help those who ask for it”, “Ask only from those who have it” and “Only show tender loving care for those who loves you”.
I think this basic thing could be applied to all. Although some might not agree with them. But hey, do I care?
